By Mary Ellen

High functioning anxiety is it’s own special kind of hell. It is basically anxiety that you hide well.

It is perfectionism at work because you are terrified of messing up, attending social events as a way to distract your mind, chest pains when you are anticipating a stressful day, and migraines when the stress becomes too much.

You have a lot of friends, but you don’t let them get too close to you, because you’re afraid they won’t like the real you.

Constantly thinking your best friend is mad at you because she didn’t respond to a text…even though you know she is working. And then reminding yourself to calm down.

It’s spending 5 minutes looking at a text trying to figure out exactly what to say, being in public and being able to remain calm, smile a lot, and even chat up strangers even though it is torture.

Nervous ticks, like playing with your hair, biting your nails, or constantly moving your legs.

Literally trying to fake it until you make it, and feeling like you will never make it.

It’s never feeling good enough.

Feeling panic when the phone rings before you smile and answer it.

It’s laundry piling up and dishes over flowing the sink, because you keep yourself so busy you don’t take care of yourself, laying in bed all day to recharge, and then getting depressed over everything you did not get done.

When you finally tell them you have anxiety your friends look surprised, and then them questioning you, as if it is something to lie about.

It’s my rapid heart beat and shaky hands as I write this article because I am afraid no one will relate.



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